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Some of you may not be very aware of the battle that rages for supremacy on the farmyard but I can assure you it is a fierce battle. Whilst we have been experts at producing milk and fine tasty cuts of beef, the horses have lorded it over us for far too long in the field of sporting prowess! Well no longer!

My German friend here has taken a giant leap for cow kind and become the first show jumping cow (Click here for the full video if you don't believe me!). This has inpired me and I have already made enquiries into getting fitted with a Knight Rider style turbo boost at the MINI workshop where I stay in Edinburgh!

I think I should be ready for the showjumping trials for the Olympics very shortly. Watch this space!

What can I say I’m all heart! This is a picture of me at a recent charity event where I handed over a great big cheque for £4451.

It was for Calareidh House, part of the Sick Kids Hospital which looks after severely disabled children who have a lack of mobility. They will use it for ‘Snoozeling Equipment’ which helps the children relax and sleep. Visit their site http://www.edinburghsickkids.org/ for more information.

I’m pictured with 2 of my keepers from Edinburgh Lara and Steve. They are like our version of the DJ’s Smashie and Nicey with all the “chairidie” stuff they do. Although Smashie and Nicey had better hair and dress sense

I loved handing over that oversized cheque. It was like those old football coupon winner things. Being the kind hearted sole I am, I for once withdrew to the background to allow them to pose for the cameras. (Although the paparazzi did keep bellowing my name!)

If you or anyone else you know thinks they could use me for charity then let me know via facebook or twitter. I’m always up for helping out a good cause.

I've has escaped my pen at Peter Vardy MINI in Edinburgh and I'm headed in the direction of France on my biggest adventure yet! As you can see from the above picture I have struck up quite a rapport with the French already so I though it only fair to extend the "Entente Cow-dial" further!

I have spent the week eating listening to "Jean Michel Jarre" and watching "Les Miserables" so I am fully in touch with the culture!

I am taking on the challenge of the famous endurance race - \"The Beaujolais Run\" in a bid to help raise lots of MOO-ney for charity. I have been told there will be a few hairy moments along the way or in my case - every step of the way!

I'll be going all the way from Edinburgh to the south of France and back in only 4 days for the Henry Surtees foundation. I have set up my own just giving site, which was very difficult as typing with hooves is not easy as you can imagine! http://www.justgiving.com/scottishmini. If you can donate even just £1 I would be over the moon.

Look out for my updates along each leg of the journey!

Foxton, the classy estate agent, is famous for something other than the houses it sells.

I’m talking about – but then aren’t I always? – MINIs. Foxtons has an entire fleet of MINIs. All lovingly styled.

I haven’t yet bumped into any of these MINIs in the street, either figuratively or literally. But that’s because they’re too far from Peter Vardy, my mothership. In fact, they’re hundreds of miles away in – cough, splutter – the Smoke.

You’ll see here that Foxtons has changed its cars’ design every year from 2001 to the present day. And, of course, it has stayed with MINIs the whole time.

Call me biased. Call me mad as a wasp in a hiker’s sock, even. But I’d like to imagine that this MINI-embracing philosophy is the secret of the success of Foxtons.

And that had it chosen another marque, it’d be a tiny, one-shop operation, selling second-hand garden sheds and corrugated-iron coal bunkers.

I don’t know whether any of you saw this brilliant US MINI advertising campaign a few years back. I laughed so hard, I had to have my poor wee starter motor replaced.

Which was more painful than you might think. Because we cars (with the exception of the Queen’s) tend not to get a general anaesthetic before someone rummages around in our engines with a dirty great spanner. Ooyah.

Goodness knows, I have a hard enough time getting a mechanic to scrub up first, let alone put on surgical gloves and one of those radge bandana things the docs used to wear on ER.

Anyway… where was I? Oh, aye: this counterfeit MINI business has been preying on my mind. I mean, do I look like a fake MINI?

I’d assumed I only looked like a fake cow. And that everyone knew beneath this attractive, hairy exterior there was an even more attractive interior, built to perfection. If a little short on modesty sometimes.

But maybe people think I’m a shaggy [insert name of uncool car here] instead? Or even worse – a [insert name of even uncooler car here]! Oh, man. I do hope not.