Cannae stand it nae mair? Aye, I know, I know. Reading about my adventures around Scotland has whetted your appetite for thrills, and you’re now gagging for a MINI of your very own. (Maybe one that’s a wee bit less hairy and opinionated than a certain four-wheeled character you could mention?)

And when you do pitch up at Peter Vardy, eager to drive some unsuspecting relative of mine into the sunset, make sure you mention my name... and a secret password.

This will entitle you to five years’ free TLC (Peter Vardy’s loving aftercare service) on a new MINI. Or between one and four years’ free TLC on a used MINI up to four years old.

The secret password will be posted in the near future*, and to find out you can either follow me on Twitter, become my friend on Facebook, or subscribe to email updates

*OK, maybe not the best-kept secret password ever.