Above: Scottish MINI's pre-kickoff pub trail route

I’m totally impartial, of course. I wish both sides well in the Calcutta Cup on Saturday. As long as it’s a good, clean, entertaining game, that’s all that matters.

Ha! Ha! Ha ha hahaHAHAHAHA! Admit it: I had you going for a minute, there. I did, didn’t I? I could hardly keep a straight face/radiator grille. After all, you’ll notice that this blog isn’t at www.BritishMINI.com

So I’ll be mooing and revving my little heart out to the strains of Flower of Scotland as we trample Martin Johnson’s side firmly, yet skilfully, into the mud.

Before the game (kick off’s at 5 pm), I’ll be doing a wee tour of Edinburgh’s tea shops and libraries. Aye, I’m joking again. Because I’ll be visiting many of Auld Reekie’s best pubs. I’ll start at the bars around Murrayfield, then move on to those in the West End – Teuchters, for instance – followed by George Street and finally the Grassmarket.

(Which reminds me: I need to have a word with the Trades Descriptions people. In all the times I’ve driven down the Grassmarket, I’ve never seen so much as a postage stamp-sized square of turf for sale.)

If you’re coming out to play on Saturday (and not necessarily “play” in the sense that you’ve been selected by Andy Robinson), upload shots of yourself with yours truly to http://www.flickr.com/groups/hamishspotting/pool/

Altogether now: “And sent him homeward, tae think again…”