KITT, the Hoff’s car in Knight Rider, never went through anything quite like this. Neither did Herbie the VW Beetle. Nor Lightning McQueen from Cars. But, here I am, getting an extreme makeover. It’s a unique transformation, because I’ve chosen to go ginger. Yes, my friends: ginger.

Out of respect to those of you with more than the average number of freckles, I won’t say whether or not I reckon this is an improvement. But at least this extra hair will come in handy now that it’s cold enough to freeze the furry dice off a brass Mondeo.

As you can see, I’ve also had the ultimate in body piercings by having fake Highland cow horns grafted on. This should make me a wee bit easier to spot on the M8. Or at a McDonald’s Drive-Thru. Although that might look like I’m indulging in some freaky cattle cannibalism.

Anyway, I’m raring to go now. Make sure you follow me on Twitter feed, Facebook or whichever of Scotland’s A-roads, B-roads or motorways I happen to be on.