Phwoooar. She’s no a bad lookin’ lassie, is she? Aye, I’m a sucker for the fairer sex clad in leather. Particularly as I’m in full-on bovine mode myself at the moment. And the fact that she’s Swiss adds an extra-special touch of the exotic.

In other words, this is one Peter Vardy MINI who wouldn’t mind rubbin’ dubbin into her panels, if you know what I mean.

I’m no mean catch myself, of course. Only this morning, I was wolf-whistled by a rather cute VW Beetle. Cute considering she was custard-yellow, that is. I don’t mean to be paintist or anything, but custard-yellow? I’d be too embarrassed to be seen anywhere in the same multi-storey car park as her.