It’s going to be a fun end to the year, I can feel it in my brake fluid. Mind you, the end of the year’s always my favourite bit. It all blurs into one fantastic Christhogmanaymas party.

As I’m always driving, though, I limit myself to half a litre of Super Unleaded. You’ve got to be so careful, mind. One year, after a Micra slipped diesel in my petrol, I was off the road for the best part of a week.

I’m not much of a fan of reverse gear. I like seeing what’s over the horizon. So I always get excited about New Year. I cannae wait for 2010 to start its engine. Look out for me out and about in Edinburgh during Christmas week and on Hogmanay. Just so you recognise me, I’ll be carrying a fish supper in a copy of the Daily Record.

I’m not exactly camera-shy – would I be wearing this Tina Turner wig otherwise? – so feel free to take pictures, shriek or lovingly place rose petals on the road in front of me.