The home of Scottish MINI

Some of my older readers may remember the last time there were motorsport events at the Olympics. Although it’s a fair bet there won’t be that many of you, because it was at the Paris Olympics back in 1900. Or MCM, in old money.

Yep, car racing and motorcycle racing featured for the first and only time 112 years ago. Also appearing on that one and only occasion were hot air ballooning, cricket, Basque pelota, the 200 m swimming obstacle race, underwater swimming and croquet. (And the only entry ticket sold for the croquet – the only one – was bought by an Englishman… no comment.)

Personally, I think it would’ve been nice to see some rally driving at the London 2012 event. Things would be a wee bit faster than they were back in 1900. Had I been around in those days, I think I’d have been in with a pretty good shout. That’s assuming the spectators didn’t try to eat me (even today, that occasionally happens after 6 Nations rugby matches).

Is it too late to start a petition? I really think the Olympics would benefit from the roar of engines and the screech of tyres. If nothing else, Lewis Hamilton and Jenson Button could race buses down Oxford Street for Team GB. Which I’d happily pay good money to see. I’d even brave the 2012 ticketing system. And you can’t get much more enthusiastic than that.

Still, even if that’s a bit of a long shot, keep an eye out for our favourite judoka, Euan Burton. Peter Vardy is actively supporting Euan as he prepares for London 2012. Just check out his awards: http://bit.ly/z1Pf5i With power like that, who needs an internal combustion engine?

Well, what kind of Christmas did you have? A great one, I trust.

Personally, I thought Santa was a little unadventurous this year. I got a sensible set of winter tyres, which was very welcome. Because, as all-seeing Santa will know, I had a scary – if festive – incident a few years ago, which involved me sliding sideways through a holly bush. So these days I take no chances when the weather gets a wee bit icy.

Given that I got the tyres, I hate to sound ungrateful – but the funky tartan gear-stick knob I asked for never materialised. And nor did the chrome horn-covers. They would’ve been awesome.

(I’m not sure whether these gifts are commercially available, but I thought Santa’s elves might’ve been able to knock something up for me in their workshop.)

Not many cars are lucky enough to get a visit from the chubby, red-clad chappie with the reindeer and sleigh, but then not many cars spend Christmas Eve in a custom-built garage with a chimney, like I do. If I told you where it is, I’d have to kill you. Or at least beg you not to breathe a word to anyone else.

Anyway, that was then. That’s soooo last fortnight. But now I’m looking forward to 2012 and all it brings. I hope you all have a happy, healthy and prosperous year ahead.

For many people, Children In Need is a great excuse to get dressed up. And, for me, it’s a great excuse to stay dressed up.

It was certainly party time for everyone at Peter Vardy. As the photos taken on the day prove pretty convincingly, no costume was considered too daft, ill-fitting or unflattering to be worn with pride.

There were loads and loads of fund-raising activities right across the Peter Vardy network. These included a Tour de Vardy cycle ride round the dealerships, bake sales, penalty shoot-outs, sponge-flinging at managers, body-waxing for men (apologies to anyone with dogs traumatised by the high-pitched screaming) and Peter Vardy’s in-house version of eBay: vBay.

Me? I was lucky enough to go along with a team from BMW Edinburgh to a local special-needs school, where they certainly know how to have a good time. It was fantastic. But I was so exhausted by the time I left, I had to have a lie-down in a darkened garage.

And the grand total raised for Children In Need was…

*Drum roll… cymbals crash*

*Dramatic pause*

...£25,537!

A very good day at the office. One that will change lives for the better. Am I getting emotional? No… no… these aren’t tears, just raindrops on my headlights. *Sniffs*

Well, I’ve had time to calm down and get my thoughts together. Because it’s been a few weeks now since we had our special MINI Coupé evening at Peter Vardy.

A fantastic time was had by all. Particularly by me. Amazingly, though, it was an occasion when I wasn’t the star attraction. I know!

Still, if anything’s going to upstage me, I’d rather it was one of those gorgeous new Coupé beauties than a boring old [BRAND OF CAR REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS]! I mean, just look at this red and black vision of loveliness. No wonder folk came from as far away as Aberdeen. I bet no one would even bother crossing the road to look at a [BRAND OF CAR REMOVED AGAIN FOR LEGAL REASONS]!

That’s not to say I wasn’t made a fuss of. Goodness me, no. I lost count of the number of devilishly attractive visitors who ran their fingers though my fur and steamed up my windows and wing mirrors with their hot breath. There’s something about being next to me that seems to make people pant.

Anyway, we had goodie-bags. We had nibbles. We had cocktails. We even had magic.

The cocktails were the handiwork of Adam Ingram, the Scottish Bar Flair Champion from Badaboom. (That’s the name of his company, by the way. Not a remote Highland village.) The jaw-dropping magic was by Kevin McMahon from Faking It.

And we also had an iPad2 competition. Which was won by Michael Barr from Edinburgh. Who was a very nice laddie indeed, incidentally.

If you weren’t there, we wish you had been. You probably wish that, too.

Phew! That was a busy weekend, spent accompanying the good folk at Peter Vardy to the Scottish Motorshow at Knockhill. Despite the traditional Scottish weather of gale force winds and showers, I think it’s fair to say that the show was a great success. There were lots of attractive makes and models on show (apart from me) but my favourite models were easily the Miss Scotland finalists who came by to say hello! I even got a photo with my favourite—Layla Ferguson—we share the same hair colour after all.

I got to see all types of cars from Formula 1 cars to concept cars and there was even a couple of stunt aeroplanes working their magic. I even saw Mr T at the show. He seems to have traded in his A Team van for something a bit different these days. Guess those Snickers adverts don’t pay as well as you think!

There were a few scares, however: apart from the rain and gusts ruining my perfectly groomed mane, the burger van briefly running out of burgers was an especially alarming moment. For a split second, my paranoia got the better of me and I swore I could feel the crowds’ hungry eyes upon my beefy exterior. Then a wave of calmness washed over: they wouldn’t eat the star of the show, now, would they?